You Know You’re a Parent When…

Do you ever sit back and reflect on life as a parent and how different it is from life before children?  Sometimes I find myself saying or thinking things that would never have been part of my repertoire and I just have to laugh.

You know you're a parent feature1

Here are 7 ways to know when you’re a parent:

1. Someone says “stupid” or “shut up” in front of your child and you them a look and ask them to watch their language around your children.

2. Talking about “poo” is the norm for the kids (and you) no matter where you are and in varying sound decibels.

3. Going to the grocery store by yourself  while the kids are taken care of by someone else feels like what a day at the spa used be.

4. You shut the bathroom door to answer nature’s call and you pray that for just that five or ten minutes, no one bangs on the door, constantly calls for you or needs something right that minute…of course that doesn’t happen.

5. On the weekend, you’re hopeful that the kids will let you sleep in…until 6:45am.

6. After a month of no alone time with your partner, you both decide that tonight is the night. Of course, that is the same night that your child will either have a nightmare and climb into bed with you, get sick, not be able to fall asleep or will wake up ten times throughout the night for water. Alone time will have to wait until next month.

7. You get upset or irritated if anyone calls the house or rings the doorbell after 7:30pm. I mean don’t they understand that there are children sleeping?!

I’m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the life of a parent. What would you add to the list?

22 thoughts on “You Know You’re a Parent When…

  1. So true! I have to stop myself from getting mad at people when they come to the door! Also, on Halloween my husband was getting annoyed at all the firecrackers going off in our neighbourhood. He was complaining about how late it was for that much noise. I looked at the clock and it was 9!!!

    1. I totally know what you mean and it’s so funny when you think about it! I know whenever anyone calls the house after 7:30pm, I always get annoyed and worried that the kids will walk up 🙂

  2. I laughed hysterically at #4. That is my alone time. And somehow, that little hand comes under the door….plays “knock knock” or just repeatedly yells “mama? Mama!!” Thank God for Bose Headphones. My 20 minutes of peace in the bathroom always feels so nice…

    I’d like to add to the list: You’ve gotten used to the judgmental stares in the produce aisles while the tribe of monkeys you call “children” wear their costumes and toss apples and bananas to each other. You take a sip of you Starbucks, grab your kale, and think of being home in the bathroom.

  3. You begin to expect the following in the shower just after applying lots of soap, and beginning to lather – “Maaahhhmm! Can you help/find/do….”

    You start adding 5 minutes to each car trip, to account for the time it will take you to go back home and retrieve the lost toy/stuffed animal/blanket/cup that MUST ABSOLUTELY accompany your child on their 3 minute car ride.

    The first words when you see your child after an ominous 20 minutes of silence: “did you MEAN to do that?”

  4. I’m not a mom, but I do take care of my 4 1/2 month old step-grandson these days, so I do relate to a few of these points. (I hate it when that phone rings too, just after the baby has fallen asleep.) By the way, I was never allowed to say “stupid” or “shut up” when I was growing up either. Funny, I was just thinking of that this morning. Thanks for sharing!

    1. I guess there are more of us with the same rules growing up than we realize. Thanks for your comment Jeanne and I hope the calls don’t wake your step-grandson!

  5. Oh what a great list Salma. I am not married but I must admit number 6 is priceless. I hear many married men speaking of this one and all I can do is laugh. Thanks for sharing this list. You are awesome!

  6. Also, not a parent at the moment, but I enjoyed reading this. Sounds like alone time with your spouse is over not only until next month, but until when the kids are teenagers or out of the house. Thanks for the post!

  7. Oh gosh, this list. It’s like you read my mind. I must share this with people I know who don’t have kids and probably think I am the only crazy person who whispers angrily into the phone, “Hello???” after 8 pm. Lol!

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