I am no expert on marriage, but I have always believed that anything worth having takes hard work, marriage included. Every relationship has its ups and downs, happy and sad days, celebrations and arguments. Sometimes if the negative parts last longer than we thought, it can be hard to get out of it. It’s times like those that may be able to use a relationship tune-up.
I love the analogy that cars need oil changes, furnaces need new filters and relationships love a good tune up. This comes from relationship coach Tara Caffelle. She believes that our relationships set us free and that good ones, SUPER COUPLE ones, can, and will, change the world.
I had a chance to ask her some questions and she shared.
6 Signs That You Might Need a Relationship Tune-Up:
1. Having un-talked about things between the two of you.
2. Arguing about the same things over and over and seeming to get no where.
3. Carrying around some little pieces of resentment.
4. “Checking out” of things and going through the motions.
5. Feeling less like a team and more of an adversary, even if nothing overt has happened to cause that.
6. Getting lost after big transitions occur in a relationship like; a new baby arrives, career transition, losing a parent etc.
All of these factors can affect relationships at one time or another and the hardest is when you get stuck in it.
For me, I would say I married my best friend. He is the one I want to talk to about all the things going on in my life and the first one I want to tell when I have big news. In August, we celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary and we’ve been together for more than 16 years! We are nowhere close to perfect and we definitely have our good and bad days, so I think a relationship tune-up sounds like a great idea!
Lucky for us, Tara Caffelle hosted her first ever Super Couple Tune-Up Workshop in November 2016 and we decided to attend. Over the course of the day, Tara educated couples about the importance of relationship maintenance for long-term bliss. She taught us new skills, we learned about “changing the oil,”and how to recharge and rejuvenate our relationship.
I think one of the best things the hubby and I did for ourselves, our kids and our family. We learned a lot. You can check out this post, 5 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO RECHARGE AND RECONNECT IN YOUR MARRIAGE for some of the tips we learned.
Would you you ever attend a relationship tune-up or workshop with your partner?
I agree, like every other thing in life, you need tune ups for love too. Looking forward to hearing more about this after your you Super Couples Tune Up workshop
Thanks Shumaila and you’re so right!
Excellent post, as usual! I think the reason many couples do not stay together is because they aren’t willing to work on their relationships, or they weren’t prepared to commit or invest the time required to really have good relationships.
Other reasons related to these 6 points are when one partner or the other tends to always blame the other, but take no responsibility for his or her own shortcomings. I think younger people especially often have only the “romance story” idea of marriage, but none of the reality focus.