The only people who could love my kids as much, if not more, than my husband and I do, is all of their grandparents.
Keyan and Kyah are so lucky to have all of their grandparents in their life and now that we are in Vancouver for a while, it’s no longer a Skype and Facetime relationship.
But being in such close proximity has made me question if the now grandparents have forgotten how to be parents. Because I’m pretty sure that as kids, my husband and I weren’t allowed to watch lots of TV, eat chocolate, candy and junk at random, eat fast food for dinner, stay up as late as we wanted, get whatever we asked for and not be disciplined.
I can understand that if it were a long distance relationship between grandparents and grandchildren, then when visits happened, there would be some spoiling going on. But now that it is a steady, constant relationship things should be different.
And it is different. Keyan now has a set once a week candy day and Kyah is not allowed candy in general. There are TV time limits and McDonald’s is off limits.
But that was with me gently (and sometimes not so gently,) laying down the law with all the grandparents. I do feel bad when I do it because of course I know they don’t mean any harm, they just want to make the kids happy and I get it. But in my mind, it’s more important to focus on long term happiness and setting up the right base for them to grow up and be healthy, well-adjusted adults.
And we’ve definitely been hit up with, “We brought all of you up and you turned out fine.” And that’s true, we did turn out fine thanks to you. But we still want to do it our way with our kids. Is that me being a bit anal and somewhat of a control freak? Probably, but to me I just want what I think is best for my kids. And it’s not totally my way or the highway, there is a some leeway, even though the grandparents may not believe it.
Having said all that, I would implicitly and without question trust all of my children’s grandparents to take care of the kids at anytime. No one else would give our children more love and put our children’s lives before theirs. I’m grateful for grandparent’s and so are my children.
How is your experience with grandparent’s? Do they do as you ask with the kids or do they want to do their own thing? And how do you deal with it?