The kids and I spent a nice morning at the park. We played on the structure, the slides, the swings and then we ended up building castles and digging tunnels in the sandbox.
I had a lot of fun with the kids but I couldn’t help and feel wistful as I looked around the playground. It was full of mom’s with their kids and their mom friends. There were pairs of mother’s with their cute kids playing together while they chatted. There was also a big group of mom’s sitting on the grass, sharing blankets and eating a picnic lunch, laughing and having a wonderful time, talking about all things mommy.
It made me miss Winnipeg, where both my children were born and where I left all my “Mommy Friends” behind, some months ago.
It seems so much more simple to make new friends when you’re a new mom with a young baby. Most of the other new mother’s are in the same situation. It seems easy to bond, connect and talk because when you have a new baby, there is lots to talk about.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my non-parent friends as well. I feel that it’s important to have friends that are outside of your child-rearing box. It helps you stay connected to yourself and your life before you became a parent and you can talk about things other than dirty diapers and baby food.
But let’s face the facts here, the majority of your time, especially if you’re a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom, is spent with the kids, thinking about them and talking about them. And who else but fellow mothers can totally understand and commiserate with you about how tired you are because your child keeps waking up at night, potty training troubles, how you can’t get your child to eat properly anymore, how you’re still having a hard time losing the rest of your baby weight and the latest sale at Children’s Place.
As much as our child-less friends love us and our children, there is only so much they can listen to before they zone out and get bored. I remember, because that’s how I felt before I became a mom.
And now that I’ve left all my mom friends behind, I value those friendships even more and I really miss them. I don’t have anyone to call and say, “We’re going to the library,” or “We are heading to the park, you guys want to come with us.”
Is it just me, or is it hard to make a good core group of mom friends when you move to a new city and your baby is no longer a baby? Are those bonds formed early on and then if you have toddlers, you’re out of luck because those little groups are pretty tight-knit and squeezing in is going to be an issue?
Or maybe I’m just not making enough of an effort. I’ve joined some groups and met some really nice parents but it seems that they’ve already connected with each other long ago.
I really want to make some new friends that I can see on a regular basis and that I can talk to and that have children my kids can play with as well. It makes motherhood more fun and a little less isolated. I mean I love my kids and they are my best friends right now. I wouldn’t mind making some best friends my own age.
Do you have any advice? Do you think it’s important to have mommy friends or not? How did you make your close mom friends? Has it been since your children were babies or did you meet and connect with new people even after your children reached toddlerhood?