Time to Stop Apologizing?

If someone unexpectedly stops by your house, are you one of those people who will say, “Sorry for the mess,” or “Excuse the mess?” I am. I’ve been noticing it more lately and it’s been bothering me too.

I’m the first to admit, I am not the world’s greatest housekeeper, I never have been. I like to think I’m a good mother, a nice friend to have, a fabulous writer and a pretty good wife 🙂 But no, keeping everything neat and tidy is not my forte. Yet, I’m always stressing out when everything’s messy! I feel that I have to apologize when someone comes over and the kid’s toys are everywhere and dishes are piled up in the sink. I don’t like it when my in-laws come over and things aren’t perfectly tidy and in order because they always have spotless home.

Right now, this is what parts of my house look like. And yes I know, it’s not that bad. Some days it’s a lot worse and some days it’s better.

image

I could be tidying up, but instead I’m writing this post. Why? Because this makes me happier and eventually everything will get picked up and put in the right place.

I want to be able to do it all. And even though the name of my blog is The Write Balance, I’m slowly realizing that balance doesn’t mean you can have and do everything perfectly. I had quite a meaningful conversation with my friend Renata at Keeping The Me in Mommy on Twitter. She said somethings that really got me thinking. She said that, “There is no one way to do mom. Happiness is key wherever you find it. I fully believe (balance) exists, part of it is broadening our definition of a great mom.”

Makes you think doesn’t it? So maybe it’s time to start apologizing  for what we haven’t done and to stop feeling guilty. Maybe it’s time to embrace who we are and that we are doing our best as mother’s and women. Maybe it’s okay that things are a bit messy or that you didn’t make a home cooked meal tonight. Maybe what does matter is that the kids are safe, content and happy and so are you.

What do you think?

 

25 thoughts on “Time to Stop Apologizing?

  1. My house is never picked up unless I make a point of inviting someone over, and then as I rush around with the Dyson and duster, I wish I hadn’t invited them LOL

  2. My house is always cluttery and messy. The big thing for me is dirty and germy. I always make sure I don’t have food sitting out or anything gross. But to me, toys on the floor, even laundry laying around, that to me says “lived in”. We live a full life with fun and excitement and we play with our kids a lot. So my house is lived in. I don’t mind if someone stops by and my house is messy…just means we live in it!

  3. I agree Salma. I’m the worst at this. I’m always apologizing for how my house looks even though it looks pretty good most days. Great post.

    Agi:)

    vodkainfusedlemonade.com

  4. I am forever apologizing for my messy house! Thank you for being so honest and bringing up this topic, maybe we can all breathe a little easier now 🙂

    Raj

  5. LOVE this post! I can so relate to nearly all of what you shared! While I don’t have children at home any more (over 50 and a grandmother now), I do have multiple pets. It’s a small house with too much in it and it’s easy to get cluttered/stay cluttered. In fact, I have to get offline NOW and do some cleaning, because we have company coming over tonight! Funny, I just published a guest blog post about how the idea of striving for perfection relates to bathrooms…

  6. Great post topic and I love your real life photos! For me, I don’t apologize about the mess but my truth is that I am much more happier and balanced when there is no mess. Which means I either leave the apartment so I don’t have to see the crap laying around or I just do a quick tidy (but don’t look behind the shower curtain because I’m hiding all the mess behind it).

  7. I hear you loud and clear. Before I hopped on over to check out your post I was planning on reading Modern Parents Messy Kids ambitiously titled Project Organize Your Entire Life book. I look at people who somehow keep it all under control and don’t get what they’re doing ‘right’ that I am not. At the same time I don’t want to spend my entire day doing housework, my kids are fun damnit!

  8. First of all, it’s your house and you can keep it tidy or messy – that’s your choice. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to visit! ROFL

    Secondly, if people pop in without calling first to let you know they’re coming, again it’s on them. Your house has children – you can expect a mess here and there.

    I agree with Misty – it’s lived in and if company doesn’t realize that – too bad!

    Stop apologizing! 🙂

  9. Love it … thanks for the honesty 🙂 my house looks like a disaster at the moment..and I am going to be ok with it

  10. I always apologize, and honestly don’t think I’ll ever stop – the mess does make me uncomfortable but my family and my work come first! My older daughter has clued into the way our family works; whenever we are cleaning and tidying she asks who is coming over 😉

  11. Yep! Totally agree! Love the idea of expanding our definition of mom. Here is my contribution: A new word-the Self-full mom. She’s not selfless or selfish, she is self-full.

  12. That was a good conversation! One of my favourite quotes I saw on Pinterest is: “Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids.” My kids are really happy:)

  13. You are 100% right. What you wrote is so true. We should stopped worrying about the house, and start paying attention to the development of our children and things that makes us happy.

  14. Yes, to everything you wrote Salma! Feeling guilty rarely gets us motivated anyway, so it’s better to self-motivate with kindness. And that starts with allowing ourselves to be as we are. Then we’re happier and the kids are happier too.

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